Chosen
The hidden desire in our subconscious
Everybody wants to be chosen, and many wait to be chosen.
If we live consciously, we stop waiting to be chosen and start choosing ourselves. Every time we choose ourselves, we show others by example—and everything changes.
When we stop compromising on unreasonable requests, we show our baseline.
When we stop settling for relationships that are not aligned with us, we show our standards.
When we stop explaining ourselves to people who are determined to misunderstand us, we show our boundaries.
We learn about others through interaction, and others learn about us through how we present ourselves.
If we don’t pause to reflect on our own behaviour, we won’t realise how unconsciously we are living.
A good relationship is about consciously choosing each other over and over again, despite all the differences.
Our desperation to be chosen is where attachment lies.
For example:
Why do some people stay in physically abusive relationships?
After all the harm, the abuser still chooses them, still apologises, still asks for forgiveness, and still wants them to stay.
Some people have a deep need to be chosen, and they end up overlooking or minimising the abuse from their partner.
From an outsider’s point of view, it may seem obvious, yet they are able to ignore it.
That’s why emotional abuse is often more difficult to detect; as a result, many people remain in toxic relationships, largely out of unawareness or lack of clarity.
When only one person is doing the choosing, or someone is simply waiting to be chosen, the relationship is already imbalanced.
Some people who have experienced betrayal may struggle to believe that a new person can come in with certainty in a short period of time. This is often due to trust issues that have not yet healed, so they prefer to spend more time observing before committing.
There is nothing wrong with that—everyone moves at their own pace. That’s why only people who are truly aligned end up in fulfilling relationships. The rest are often lessons that help us understand different aspects of ourselves.
Different people want different things and different kinds of connections. Some people can’t stay in a relationship without communication, while others prefer a quieter partner. What matters is knowing what we want and not settling below our standards or performing just to be accepted.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend ahead choosing yourself first.
I am just now, remembering, becoming more aware, and settling in warmly with choosing myself first. It was scary at first; old habits of what we were taught long ago…of being unworthy and to choose yourself last, are hard lies to let go of, but each time I did and allowed the wind to dissolve them into the perfect peace of love, the world felt brighter, lighter. The confidence in me grew like a beautiful vine of acceptance of the gift I am, not to be used or abused in any way again.
Who knew at almost 70 years of age that I would come to this realization and open up like a lotus flower in all its glory? Not me.
The ‘mud’ I grew and evolved from graced me in the guidance I needed to this place, of who I am…
I am the Hope, the Joy, the Peace, and the Love.💖 And, you know, my sweet, wise sister…so is everyone else. If only they would stop long enough to feel the precious jewel they came into the world as and believe.
This was another essential post, Janet, to wake us up. Thank you💝