Trigger

What does it mean to you?

I used to think that a trigger was about our negative response to an external cause. It refers to a person’s words, an event, or a situation that evokes a strong emotion in us.

Recently, I’ve found that a trigger isn’t necessarily a bad thing; one of its synonyms is activate.

I’ve come to understand that in life, we often take things and words too personally, no matter how they are said or done. We can get hurt by every word or action if we interpret them the wrong way; authenticity can be mistaken for bluntness. While indirectness can feel considerate when we understand where someone is coming from.

It all boils down to perspective once again.

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Some people can trigger us to go down the rabbit hole, while others can trigger us to reflect more deeply. Regardless of the type of trigger they have on us, we must learn to remain at peace.

I like to use relationships as an example, as the theory applies to many other areas of our lives.

We learn about relationships (any kind) by entering them, not by running away from them. Getting into a relationship doesn’t mean we must stay in it when it becomes unhealthy or disrupts our peace. If someone in your life constantly disturbs your peace, it’s better to let them go.

In the past, I often questioned myself and thought it wasn’t possible. How could we let go of our closest friend, family, partner, or even our children?

Later in life, when I lost my mum to cancer, I realised that everything is possible. Nobody can live forever (unless you’re a vampire). Lol 🤣

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There was once, in the middle of the night, when I woke up and found my mum sobbing outside our house. I didn’t know the real reason or what had triggered her tears, but I could feel her suffering quietly, as if carrying the weight of the world alone.

I was very young then (probably six or seven years old), and I couldn’t understand. If the hardship was so unbearable, why did she have to endure it instead of leaving?

This, I realised much later, is so common. Many people are afraid of being labelled the “bad person.” They would rather stay in a familiar place, suffering in silence, than venture into the unknown and risk having their reputation tainted.

What my mum didn’t know was that suppressing her emotions took a tremendous toll on her mental state, which eventually manifested in her physical body. She also didn’t realise how her way of living affected her children.

She had been my role model all my life. I thought we were supposed to sacrifice ourselves for the family. But after her death, nothing was the same, and I changed. I found myself torn between staying for the family and seeking my own happiness. Did I want to keep maintaining the façade of a good mother and good wife, suppressing myself as my mum did, or live authentically as a human being?

People called me selfish and heartless, but they didn’t know the truth: in life, there is always a sacrifice. Then it hit me — if I was not happy, how could I bring happiness to the people around me?

I chose the latter. It felt better to let people say whatever they wanted than to wear a fake mask for the rest of my life. No matter what you do or how you live, someone will always have an opinion. So, just be yourself.

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Let me end this post with David Win - Life Goes Fast

Have a fantastic weekend ahead, and leave the past in the past.