Validation
Why do we need validation?
Nobody needs to be validated
From my experience and observation, I've noticed that people often become overly concerned with others' opinions of themselves. In everything we do, we seem to seek validation from someone else, as if we're uncertain about our own actions. Isn't that peculiar? I mean, if you're confident in what you're doing, why seek validation from anyone but yourself?
Now, before you inundate me with comments, allow me to elaborate.
I must confess, I've been guilty of the same behavior in the past. So, please, hear me out calmly.
As my parents were unavailable during my childhood, I followed my second brother, who is three years my senior, almost everywhere. He would discipline me without saying a word. Just by watching his expression, I knew whether I was behaving appropriately. I was so conditioned to find him and seek his validation every time I was unsure how to respond. That included whether to accept gifts or sweets from others.
Many times, I would be amazed by how much he knew because nobody had taught him how to behave either. It wasn't until I was much older that I realized he did not know what he was doing either.
Twenty years ago, there was a moment when I told him that he never validated anything I had done. But to my astonishment, he said I was the one who never did. This revelation truly blew my mind. Never in my life would I have had the slightest idea that he needed validation from his little sister.
Through years of trial and error, I've come to believe that what we seek isn't validation, but rather acknowledgment. We don't require approval from others regarding how we choose to live our lives or pursue our desires; what we want is simply their acknowledgment and acceptance of our actions, both past and future.
People who are aligned with our path will recognize our value and also acknowledge and encourage us along the way. Therefore, we do not need validation from anyone, especially people who don’t have the same mindset as ours.
Don't bother explaining yourself, people can only understand from their level of perception
Thank you for restacking, @David Perlmutter! 🙏😊
So true. I have a strong habit of seeking validation from others. I over-explain things or tell too many excuses for doing the things I do. (It has become a habit because of the folks around me.)
But I try not to do these things. And resistance only drains my energy. So at the end, I just accepted it, like: "Yep. I seek validation. That's how I am. Time to work". 😂